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Before I got engaged, I always imagined I?d be the most low-key of brides. I didn?t think I?d want a wedding wedding?an intimate ceremony and a nice dinner with our families always seemed like the sensible thing to do. After all, we?re saving to buy a flat in London, and blowing thousands on one day would just be silly, right"
In the beginning, it was Ben pushing for the big wedding. He has a wide social circle and an even bigger family?he?s one of those rare people who?s in regular touch with third cousins and beyond?and once we got engaged last July and started thinking about our guest list it became clear that my tiny do was a nonstarter. So, after I returned home to New York from our glorious Copenhagen engagement getaway, I started researching our options.  And that?s when it happened. The truth is, I?d never thought too much about weddings before. I haven?t attended many?just a handful of family affairs as a kid and then two in the UK with Ben this past summer?and I never had a clandestine Pinterest board or anything like that. I had no idea what was out there?or what any of it cost. I had a vague idea that it might be nice to get married at the Chelsea Physic Garden?what an innocent I was!?but that was about it. We went through a brief period last spring and early summer when we were what I, to Ben?s great embarrassment, described to people?mainly his people?as ?pre-engaged,? and at one point when I was visiting him in London my future moth...