You get the fancy envelope and pull the thick paper invitation out to read it, anticipation rising. Someone you know is getting married! You imagine the dancing, the dinner, the celebration of love?until you see the date. Whether it’s a busy time of year at work, a far-off destination, or simply a day when you already have plans, you won’t be making it to the wedding. Here are a few wise things to do as an invitee to make sure that you decline as graciously as possible.
RSVP Promptly
The biggest kindness you can show to a person planning their own wedding is to give them a heads-up as soon as you know you cannot go. This applies in a lot of circumstances: whether you know you have another wedding to attend the moment you see the invitation, or your realize two days before the wedding that your car has to be in the shop too long, it’s kindest to send your RSVP (or revised RSVP!) as promptly as possible. Brides are arranging tables, ordering catering, and frankly will be surprised if you don’t show up or call her the morning-of. It only makes sense to take that weight off her shoulders and let her know, even if you worry that you’ll be asked why. Many people do indeed delay their RSVP, hoping that something will change so they can attend the wedding and avoid an odd phone call where they have to state why. Obviously, for distant family weddings you won’t likely have to explain your absence, but for those you are relatively close to, you ma...