Getting engaged is one of the most exciting events in your life, but if your partner has children, the thought of a proposal might also be nerve-wracking. The kids may feel a lot of emotions about adding a new person to the family?good, bad, or otherwise?and it can be tricky to know how to talk to them in preparation for your upcoming marriage. Communicating with your partner about ways to handle these potentially difficult conversations beforehand will save you a lot of anxiety and frustration later on. But when and how should you or your partner talk to the kids about your upcoming marriage" Here are three common ways couples address this important question.
Before the Engagement
A wonderful option, if your soon-to-be fiance is up for it, is to include the children in the proposal plans from the beginning. Having the kids “in on the surprise” can be a great way to get them excited for the upcoming wedding and marriage instead of feeling apprehensive or upset about it. Younger children especially might enjoy giving input on the choice of engagement ring, proposal location, or other related details. This is a particularly good option if you have a strong bond with the children and they general feel good about your relationship with their parent. Realize, of course, that this will mean that the engagement itself is more of a “family affair,” as opposed to an intimate moment shared just between you and your partner, so if you’d prefer that ...