With marriage equality as the law of the land, more and more same-sex weddings are taking place. While much of the etiquette is the same as with straight weddings (never ever wear white unless you are specifically told to!), there are some etiquette rules that are unique to LGBTQ weddings.
Every couple is different, so what may be verboten at one wedding may be totally OK at another wedding. However, I would err on the side of caution and follow these guidelines, especially if you are straight and don?t have lived experience of the context surrounding these suggestions.
NEVER Ask ?Who is the Bride and Who is the Groom"?
Many well-intentioned straight people try to understand same-sex marriage by comparing it to opposite-sex marriage and assuming that there will be a ?bride? and a ?groom.? The whole point of same-sex marriage is that there is not a bride and groom, but rather two brides or two grooms (or two partners or spouses or other designations). Different couples will approach the gendered parts of the wedding in different ways. Some couples will both walk down the aisle, others will have one person walk down the aisle, and still others will do something else. Both straight and LGBTQ couples may choose to reinterpret traditional parts of a wedding or even ignore them altogether. As a guest, it is your job to be there to love, support, and celebrate the couple. Besides, it can be fun to see how different couples choose to celebrate their day. It?s Not a ?Gay Weddi...