I have officially been a stepmom for about two and a half years now and, although it?s only been a few years since my wedding, I feel like I?ve learned a lot since those newlywed days. Stepmotherhood is not for the faint of heart, that?s for sure, and you certainly learn a lot in those first few months (and years!) as a family unit. Even though I felt pretty prepared going into my role as a full-time stepmom to my stepdaughter, there are still some things I know now that I wish I knew then:
It will be hard!
I?m starting here because it is perhaps one of the most difficult, but important, things to know going into stepfamily life – there are times when things will feel impossibly hard to manage. This is a guarantee, not a guess. There will be confusion and hurt feelings and frustration and scheduling conflicts and all manner of difficult things that will come your way, and it?s extremely important to be ready for it. These things don?t make you or your family a failure, they make you human. Expect some trials and tribulations so that, when they do come, you feel ready to process and move on from them and you don?t get stuck feeling like you?re the only one who finds this hard. I can promise you that you are not.
Set expectations
One of the most important things to do before you get married is set expectations with your partner for your stepfamily life. How are holidays going to work" How are school pick-ups and packed lunches and field trips going to work" ...